Gratitude with an Attitude

About a year and a half ago, my friend called me while I was working on a health litigation case. The plaintiff was demanding a large compensation from the company who fixed sewage lines after a particular mishap when the restroom commode exploded and shit literally hit the fan, leading to a prolonged fungus contamination and related health effects. My friend was inconsolable; she said she had no money and was a week away from an international trip to India. I had lived the life of a poor graduate student for two years by then. She even offered to carry chocolates for my parents back home.

I wondered why a graduate student needed one month’s salary as a loan. This friend had previously plagiarized my statement of purpose after asking to read it, changing her name and the name of her department and school. She made it to the US and vouched that it was all her effort.  

I sent her a check, never asking her why she was in a financial crisis. People who let go of their pride and asked for a loan must be in dire need for money, and there was no need for me to compound her discomfort by asking for a reason. In return, I got a lot of phone hugs, a promise that my family would get a box of chocolate truffles, and her word that she will return the money as soon as possible.

I waited. And waited. And waited. I am still waiting.

Six months later, I sent her a reminder. She told me what a scumbag her PhD advisor was. The grants she was working on was put on hold and she was living hand-to-mouth.

I also noticed an update on her Facebook album where she and her boyfriend held hands in Florida.

Nine months later, I lost my job. I asked once more for the money. I did not get it back. However, there was a Facebook update a few days later about how excited she was planning a trip to meet her boyfriend in California.

One year later, she said that she will be visiting me in Seattle. I was impressed that she had decided to personally repay the loan. When she arrived, she told me that she wanted to visit Mount Rainier National Park. The money was never mentioned.

After a-year-and-a-half of asking, being unemployed for eight months, and going through her adventurous Facebook tourism updates, all I got were grieving emails about how bad it is to be a poor student. Imagine a poor person telling an unemployed person this. Then arrived the letters with enclosed checks with instructions that I should not deposit the checks since there was not enough money in her bank. Then came another set of letters telling me that I could deposit the checks in instalments. There were another set of checks that were claimed to be Fedexed but never reached me. Finally, I got an email from her.

“Just a quick (quick??) reminder that you can deposit the checks now. I am happy to be able to re-pay your loan and grateful for your help and patience”

The email felt nice till I came to the last sentence.

“Now that you will be a student and I will have a job after graduating, don’t hesitate to ask me if you ever need financial help. Love”.

For someone who stole my statement of purpose, asked me for money and did not repay it despite all the fun Florida/California, a boyfriend and family members in the US for help, and for someone who was helped without any questions asked, the last sentence of the gratitude email was something. I never replied to it.

sunshine