I need a change

A few weeks ago, I went to the optician to get a pair of new glasses. Not that I needed one but you know you must do certain things when you are visiting home. Don’t even ask about the exorbitant costs of medical care in the US, I was strictly instructed to get a thorough dental and eye check up done while I was visiting home. So that fell in my priority list other than eating mangoes and paani puri, going shopping with mom, and watching Indian Idol religiously every week.

Today I went to get my ordered glasses. I removed my old ones, tried on the new one, and went, “What !!! Did I order these??? How could I !!! They look hideous”

Now I am usually not fussy about things, not out of goodness of heart, but because I am confused and would rather let someone do my homework for me rather than get into the depth of things. I am usually okay with your suggestions about clothes I should wear because it will save me a good 6 hours of going through clothes aisles wondering if the yellow frilly dress looks better on me or the green one with those geometric patterns. Most of the time if I am confused, I will buy both. You will not find me fussing over the menu in a restaurant because letting someone order for you makes life easier. Who cares whether you order a hariyali kabab or a boti kabab, both would taste awesome I am sure. I did the same while choosing schools a few months ago. I discarded the lower ranked schools and then sent the remaining list to a set of trusted friends. I am going to the school that was voted the most. That doesn’t mean I do what others choose for me. That means if others choose for me and I like the choice too, I will do it.

But I digress here. The moment I put on my glasses, I was thoroughly disappointed, and even a little repulsed by the looks of the glasses. I don’t know how I even opted for them in the first place. I must have been high on something. In fact if I remember, I was looking forward to my new glasses and my new looks. But now that I saw it, it just didn’t suit me right. I somewhat resembled a toad wearing those. I even suspected if the guy had changed them or replaced them by mistake (or by design, to make me resemble an amphibian). And I had just spent quite a bit on a pair of something I didn’t even like.

So I negotiated with myself and decided that the extra set of glasses would now become the main glasses, and I would discard these hideous looking expensive froggy glasses, or use them as the spare glasses. I felt guilty, since I usually never fuss over food, clothes, or even places to travel, with strong opinions like I HAVE TO do it or I ABSOLUTELY cannot do it. But that was the way it happened here. Which brought me to yet another useless, disconcerting realization. What if I look at the groom during my wedding and realize I probably don’t want to marry him? What if I am not sure about the guy anymore? Like I said, a very improbable thought, but a thought nevertheless. Glasses are better that way. At least I can temporarily discard them and use the spare ones instead.

sunshine