Friday, September 24, 2010

The PhD Affair

My officemate had some profound thoughts on PhD that she enlightened me with. She said that doing a PhD is like being in a relationship. On certain mornings, you wake up feeling all lovey dovey, floating on cloud 9, knowing that you are the luckiest person in the world to be in this relationship. You look forward to your research, have a wonderful time with your advisor, get your tuitions waived and get paid to obtain a degree. You network, publish, write, teach, nurture, learn, experiment, wonder, analyze, and grow as an individual while being a part of the relationship.

Yet on certain days, depending on that time of the month, the phase of the moon, or the phase of your (or your advisor’s) mood, you feel like screaming. You know you are living a lousy life, a thankless life of an underpaid and overworked graduate student. You spend days and nights at the lab, neglect your pet, don’t give as much time to the “real” relationship you have, never call back your mother on time, and never earn enough. The moron in the adjacent lab who you always thought was a loser graduated with a masters and is now happily working, driving a BMW, making monthly trips to Hawaii and the Bahamas, and has been voted the “most sought after single guy” on shaadi.com. Your advisor is never happy with your deliverables, midlife crisis has hit you, you are losing hair and growing fat, and speed dates and blind dates have been replaced with speed deadlines and blind deadlines. You hate this relationship. You can’t wait to get out of it.

And then you wake up again and feel so lucky, rubbing shoulders with the brightest people in the field, fantasizing about wearing that gown being hooded hopefully in the next few years, and telling yourself that while the moron next door spends his weekends partying, you burn the midnight oil for the greater cause of mankind.

And the cycle of I hate my PhD life and I love my PhD life continues …

sunshine

11 comments:

Tushar Mangl said...

I liked the moron comparison. That happens often I guess. Someone we never thought or imagined to be so bright, turns out to be the best earner of all.

Deepika said...

So, so true. :-) TOTALLY relatable. Except that I feel lousy, underpaid and overworked pretty much ALL the time!

deep said...

:D too good..
the TRUTH :P

Rakhi said...

Ha ha! You're getting right there!
Doesn't take too long to get down to the brass tacks, does it? :)
Best wishes for a speedy and satisfying PhD.

rt said...

ha ha!! liked ur post lot..true ..atleast there are sm days better thn others :)

Richa said...

You room-mate has nailed it. Its one of the best and the worst time of the life. I miss it.

All the best with your grad life!

mythalez said...

and after the relationship reaches its end and you are hooded ... you reminisce and declare that, it was the best time ever! ;)

D said...

Having seen a little bit of grad life, I can totally relate to the comparison:)

D said...

Having seen a little bit of grad life, I can totally relate to the comparison:)

Renu said...

I truly enjoyed your post. I am too in his relationship, so was able to relate. It is like you showed me both sides of this relationship. Earlier I was just irritated with my decision. You have given me new inspiration. Hartley thanks :)

Kolor said...

The good days make it really worth it. :) On the down days I keep telling myself, doing a PhD builds character.(That's also called rationalizing)