Thursday, March 10, 2016

Little Children

With a hyperactive 7-year old, 3-year old, and 30-something year old in the G-household, I literally hide under the bed in my room between 5-8 pm everyday with my noise cancelling headphones on. Why, you may ask? Because if you sit in the living room, where all the action happens, this is what you would hear-

Don't do. Don't touch. Romba kochi! No no no! .... [With the shrill voices of the kids in their worst behavior] … Sing! Practice! G in her baritone voice scolding both the kids. The squeaking noise of screeching brakes as the elder one reluctantly plays the violin. Doors banging as the little one hides in the worship room or inside the kitchen closet. No no no, eat your dinner, you can't waste paruppu saadam! (lentils and rice) Romba kochi!

All the while when "Ma Mava Raghu Rama" and other Carnatic music plays loudly in the background. amid the noise and commotion. And the dosa/idli grinder keeps grinding noisily in the background.

And the little one hangs from the wooden ledge of the stairs like Keanu Reeves in Matrix. Or runs towards the television, a heavy bronze lamp roughly her size in her hand.

I don't think I am brave enough to witness all this!

However, in a seemingly out-of-control Cindrella moment when the clock struck 8 pm and the children in the household went all hormonal, berserk, screaming, flinging books and toys, jumping on the bed and waiting to be calmed, auntie sunshine had a rather ahaa idea. Since both parents tried in vain to get the situation in control and minimize material and emotional damage, auntie sunshine quickly started playing a police siren on YouTube from outside the room. Within minutes, there was silence in the kids' room, followed by hushed footsteps, sloppy good night kisses and hugs. The parents came out of the room, looking like victors emerging from a war zone.

This is for all those who told me, "You won't get it, you don't have children." Trust me, I do get it. You are too much into this mess to think of innovative ideas. Only an outsider like me can think differently.

Some of you may want to download a police siren app, if there is one, and if your kids are still innocent enough to be scared of the cops, that is.


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