Friday, December 18, 2009

Deeper (in) Thought

So this hypothetical person I was talking about yesterday popped up in my thoughts again during meditation. This time the trigger was a little more severe, and I was sure that unreciprocated signals do not take wings and fly to the people we want them to go to. We ourselves need to take a proactive step in order to untangle this web of emotions. I had this clear vision in my mind, and this surge of energy when I wanted to just go and do all the things I had procrastinated for days, months, and years. Unsaid things, unshared things, things that needed to be taken care of.

But then in parallel thoughts, I realized that the little problems and issues of our lives are lost in the broader frame of time or the broader perspective of the universe. In a universe where we are dealing with changes like planets changing shape and stars burning till they burn out, our wishes and desires are but as insignificant as a little molecule. In a timeframe measured in millions of years, our years of life (and the lesser years of happiness) are lost somewhere without trace. I realized how I had ignored the two things I was passionate about for years- astronomy and human physiology. There was a time when I read all I could about these two areas, not to get good marks or knowledge, but to be lost in the depth of these subjects.

So during the next few hours of meditation, my thoughts were again lost in issues of unsaid or unreciprocated feelings, astronomy, and the universe. I don’t quite realize how I kept flipping from one topic to the other. I guess meditation screws around a lot with your thought processes. But at the end of it, I was back to my question. Is it safer to not reveal feelings and opinions in the fear of rejection or a lack of reciprocation?



Badri said...

I suggest you to try reveal it , though I dont know what on earth it is.

See it is a small life time, as you pointed out and even if you are getting rejected or not reciprocated it is not going to change the shape of a star. So just go ahead and do it. After all in future you would'nt blame yourself for not trying.

Some wise man in a movie said "A man never regrets for what he had done, he regrets for things which he had not tried". So go ahead do it and then tell us what happened.

Rakhi said...

I'd think it's best to express oneself. And also be wise enough to understand that one must do it just for his/her own happiness. Loving someone should be a source of joy and not fear or sadness, even though it may be rejected.
I guess it takes real strength of character to accept rejection gracefully.

alpine path said...

Sometimes, yes, its safer not to reveal something, especially if you can live with the uncertainty but not with a definite yes or no. That way, let sleeping dogs lie :) At other times, its better to know the result. It all boils down to what you want and can handle.

sunshine said...

Badri- huh?

Rakhi- huh?

alpine path- huh?