Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Screwed Up.

1. Load X Load Arm = Effort X Effort Arm.

Mechanical Advantage = Effort arm/Load arm.

I devoted a good 30 minutes to explain this basic funda about machines to Class VI. And at the end of those 30 minutes, I gave them this simple sum to do.

Effort = 200N, Load = 100N, Load Arm = 25cm, Effort Arm = ?; Mechanical Advantage = ?

28 out of 30 students got a zero. The rest two did it half correct and managed to get a 2.5 out of 5 marks each.

2. What is the sum total of the three angles in a triangle? I randomly picked up three students from Class V, and asked them this, half dreading that they would laugh at me for asking them such an easy question. The three answers are respectively, 30 degree, 70 degree, and 120 degree.

I was shocked beyond expression.

What more, I ask them why cannot a right angled triangle have two 90 degrees? To this, one of them says confidently, “Who said so? They can have two 90 degrees in special cases”.

If I were a student now, I would not even step in this school, forget about studying here. And if I had given such answers in my schools, I would have been thrown out of there.

3. While correcting one of the chemistry copies, I find a CD inside, with Bipasha Basu’s pic on it. As suspected, the CD contains stuff you would not normally see in a sixth grader's collection.

4. My computer is screwed up for the last seven days or so. There are problems that I am unable to interpret. Okay, I know this for sure that the Norton thing has stopped working and the machine is virus infected. Also, the printer cannot be installed for weird reasons. Last Sunday, the printer just stopped taking in papers, and kept on printing lines and lines of coded expletives. And the machine just shuts down on its own and restarts without notice.

We do have a person who is supposed to fix these problems, all the more because we need the computer everyday. And this man has been telling me for the last 5 days, “I am coming first thing tomorrow morning”. And mom is like, don’t be rude to him, he might have been busy somewhere.

5. My ankle swelling is getting worse day by day. I am absolutely clueless about where all this is leading. On top of that, I get this splitting headache ever since I corrected those physics papers.

6. My project guide calls me up to ask me where have I disappeared. Snippets of the conversation-

Where have you disappeared?

Sir, I think I told you I got a job.

Yes, yes, I know, but why do you need a job?

The same reason as you need one, I wanted to say.

Anyway, he spared me a reply, and asked me to come to the lab tomorrow. We need to discuss a few research projects.

But sir, my job? The timings just will not let me work in the lab anymore. I am dog tired by the time I come back.

Just come over after school tomorrow. We will see.

I know what is coming. My weekends and Christmas vacations are gonna be screwed. And I am not even gonna be paid for it. Are the full time scientists there dead? Don’t tell me that a lab as huge as this is banking solely on a freshly graduated student.

7. Snippets of an argument with mom as I come home from work-

So you are not going?

Of course not. I cannot even move my ankles.

Is this your excuse this time? Why do you let us down? You do not attend a single wedding. But the moment you friends make plans to meet, you jump and go. 

I hate these weddings. There is nothing good to do there but sit and stare at others. I am not going. I have been up and working since 5 am.

She left without saying goodbye. Yes, she did give me a nasty look as she left. Intuition tells me that she will not be on speaking terms with me for the next few days.

8. Amidst all this, a small pin pricks my finger while I am arranging a few papers. It was like an ant bite I might not even have noticed. But then, I press my finger hard, and there I see two drops of bright red fluid oozing out. Blood! God, this is the life saving fluid called blood! I am bleeding. The next instant, strange images come to my mind. My head reels. My vision gets blurred and my tummy feels light. I rush to the wash basin and throw up.

From headaches to unruly and dumb students to sarcastic mommy comments to being pressurized by the guide to virus infected computers to objectionable CD contents to the sight of blood, I have had enough for a day. Right now, I just want to go to sleep, and never wake up again.



Abhi said...

Hey Sunshine ,
Life is not so screwed yet yar.Imagine this -

1.30 out of 30 kids get a zero.And three of them scrawl a ugly cartoon of you in their note books instead of putting down the answer.

2.What is the sum total of the three angles in a triangle?

They say -"Three angles...maam ,what about the remaining two angles in a triangle..there are five angles in a triangle na.."

3.Your maidservant catches you watching that CD and informs the entire apartment about that.

4.Your computer falls off the table and breaks into 624 pieces.

5.You get a headache when you correct chemistry , maths , english , hindi , sanskrit , social sciences answer sheets too.

6.You still have a fone.You speak to someone else who may listen.

You get the idea , chachi jee ?:)
Chill maar yaar , life is tough , but you got only one way to live - believe that it is beautiful at the same time .Keep the faith.

Raam Pyari said...


strangequark said...

Physics....guys screwed physics....
my fav subject...what is the world(oh those 30 kids, do make a world?) comming too....
marriage or no marriage......
but physics...... :(

and well abt that CD, Kgpian don't say anything, wahi better hai :)

anyway abhinav is right....life is screwed, but not fully :D
except for that physics part :))

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Bloo-ha-ha-ha... that was good. God save the kids.

sunshine said...

@abhinav..an ugly cartoon? Man, they class VII boys already think that I am the next best thing to Sushmita Sen. Just imagine!

@ruchi...Hi there once again!

@strangequark....hmm! Can I ask you a Q? Who are you?

@sudipta..... he he. Whatever that meant!

strangequark said...

do you really want to know miss??

well even u can guess....better be shut :D

sunshine said...

@strangequark- he he, I now know! And I am so glad that it is you.