My friend in Seattle is concerned about her cousin who has been missing for 8 months now.
My pregnant friend in Kolkata is complaining that her husband comes home late most of the times, drunk.
My mother drops subtle hints as usual about how it’s high time I got married.
My friend in Seattle hears from the cops about her cousin at last. The decomposing remains of her body were found abandoned inside a suitcase in a forest somewhere. The husband confesses that he is the perpetrator. DNA tests confirm the same. I sit in shock as I read this email from my friend with the heart wrenching, gruesome details.
In the meantime, my pregnant friend waits patiently for her husband, hoping that someday, he will be sensitive enough to give up his party-animal life to return home early. That someday, the insensitive in-laws will stop dropping by, expecting her to cook and clean and fend for them.
My mother is less subtle and more direct this time.
What does it take for a person to value the sanctity of life? Sure people who go bitter can part without the ugliness of it. What does it take for someone to want to take the life of someone, more so someone he was married to and had kids with? What is this, a gross manifestation of evilness personified?
In a different corner of the world, what does it take for one to be a more sensitive and respectful towards someone?
I think of the number of places I have traveled this year. I think of the number of independent decisions I took this year. Got my visa. Got a raise. Bought a car. I’d like to believe I am doing well in life. I do not wait on anyone, depend on someone for pursuing my hobbies, or anything else for that matter. I’d really like to keep being in my shoes. I like the independence. I am thankful for the way my life is.
No insensitive husband to wait for.
No suitcase to look at and wonder if this is where I will end up.
I am confused, sad, and angry. I wonder what’s wrong with the world around me.
sunshine
9 comments:
hmmm... difficult situation...
i guess the only answer here is hope... you have mentioned couple of cases where things should have been better... husbands should have been more sensitive and all... look around you once again... and this time try to find out couples who r happy just being with each other... i am sure you will find many such couples...
i will say... just keep hope and faith of a good future and look for a person with whome you can live rest of you life...
While it is sad to hear stories like these, there are also a lot of marriages I know where spouses were very happy with each other.
This initial step can be scary in finding a right guy but keep the faith n stay positive. It will work out.
~ from a person who went thru the same emotions during her marriage hunt :)
Damn! Wrong timing for wrong incidents…n yes such incidents can NEVER have a right timing
But then agn…there has been, are n will always be good n bad marriages..it depends on the individuals involved + how well they work together..’coz ya marriage is all about togetherness!
N singlehood is fun…a whole lot of fun..the freedom, not having anyone to answer to, the responsibility ONLY for the self…these are joys that will be missed but marriage is a diff kinda joy that u wld u’stand only when you experience it.
So when ur ready for marriage…don’t let such incidents demotivate you.Good Luck!
Many a times,women have to endure it all irrespective of the geography/culture they belong to! Sometimes it hurts to hear the horrible ways in which women are handled...A woman is expected to drop HER surname after marriage and prepare herself mentally to be identified by that of her hubby's name/surname..its not the other way round...A man can be single as long as he likes but if a woman prefers to take time,society tries to "brand" her under categories that are a shame even to be mentioned...Sad but true!
I am sorry for your friends. May God give them courage.
You know what i feel after reading this, somewhere the fault lies with us girls..Sooner or later most of us give into the pressures of the so called society and the desire to confirm to the norms set by it...What happened with your friend's cousin is indeed very sad and distressing....incidents like these scare the hell out of most un-married/single girls..post is kind of an eye opener. Can understand what you feel.. - Take Care.
this reminds of the Hindi movie 'lajja' about the lives of 4 women across all the sections of society...its the same everywhere sad reality :(
there's a saying in bengali 'bishashe milaye bastu tarke bahudur!'
A marriage usually consists of a happily married man and an unhappily married woman. And still it's the man who complains and jokes about the wife.
I understand your pain. I have had my own share of meeting those jerks for marriage (my mom like yours insist on me getting married). They take it for granted that I will give up my career, my hobbies, my friends, my life for them. I don't know who do they think they are? And then they give career advice like, girls should work in academics and not industry or field work is not for girls. I love my career and I don't even know them. Why am I supposed to give up something I love for someone I don't even know? Someone please give me some logic, some rational behind it?
Nicely written post, BTW. It touched a nerve.
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