Monday, December 19, 2005

Braggart No.1.

If you want to master the art of bragging, you should meet my kids. Specifically, the second and the third graders.With their innocent faces and smiles, they can even get away with murder. Given their imagination, it doesn't take them much time to come up with ridiculous stories.

A few excerpts from some of the recent conversations I had with them-

X: Ma’am, my dad has a red car.
Y: Ma’am, ma’am, my dad drives a biig Wagon R and an Indica.
Me: (feigning interest) Really?
Z: (almost shaking me from behind) Ma’am, my dad bought me a new car as a birthday gift. Not a toy car but a real big car.
X and Y turn pea-green with envy.

P: Ma’am, my brother was vomiting yesterday.
Q: Ma’am, my uncle had white white things (which I interpret to be foam maybe) coming out of his mouth before he died.
R: Ma’am, yesterday I cut my hands and there was “so many” blood.R showed me his injured hand, but I could only find a tiny spot that might as well have been a mosquito bite.

A: Ma’am, I am going to Bombay for my uncle’s wedding.
B: Ma’am, my dad will take me to foreign in the winter vacation.
Me: Really? How far is foreign?
B: Very far. One hour. You have to take an aeroplane.
D: Ma’am, my dad took me to aeroplane yesterday (whatever that meant!).

J: Ma’am, will you play cricket with me in the picnic?
K: (before I could answer) And football and beyblades with me? I have 2 beyblades.
L: I have 4 beyblades.

Ma’am, my dad is a doctor.
N: Ma’am, ma’am, my dad goes to hospital also.
Me: Children, look out of the bus. This is a very big hotel. It is called Taj Bengal.
P: (feigning a blase attitude) I have come here. But I did not like the food.
Q: I also. I also.
Whatever that meant.

Well, there are endless instances of senseless conversations like this. But I have to smile and feign surprise and listen to all that they have to say.

We were in the school bus, going for a picnic. These kids were their usual noisy self, with their my-dad-gave-me-this and my-dad-gave-me-that talk. The bus had just crossed Rabindra Sadan and was on its way to New Alipore when the endless stretches of greenery appeared at my right.

Me: Look children. This is the Calcutta race course.
I was just going to add that they can see the horses running here when a small boy screamed in excitement out of nowhere-

I know this place. My father and my grandfather come here to run in the fields every morning.



Deeps said...

Sigh! These days even kids are not as innocent as we used to be when we were kids..(I sound like a granny :-D).

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

Oh yes... that was something. I kind-a lived through these experiences through your narration. And how much did you gorge up @ the picnic, ma'am?

strangequark said...

gr8 life.....for u and for kids

Vikram said...



Raam Pyari said...

hahaha!! that was so phunny!!!! u actually had me laughing!!

sunshine said...

deeps- Innocent? They are anything but that! Could you imagine Std.VII boys making cartoons of females in class?

sudipta- Ah! the food was great! Started with poori and aloo ki subzee with sweets in the breakfast. Lunch was poori, veg.pulao, dal makhani, paneer butter masala, chole, salad, papad, sweets, and chocolate ice cream. After all, we needed the energy to dance for hours in the disco!


vikram- hey it's your first time here? Welcome, and thanx.

ruchi- hey thanx buddy. Hows you?