Last year, I was flying from London to Kolkata when I got an unexpected upgrade. The London to Dubai flight was not as full and thankfully, I got not one or two, but three extra seats. With four seats to myself, I was horizontal as soon as the airplane reached cruising altitude and the seatbelt signs were off. Over the years, my prayers to the airplane gods have evolved so much, from wanting interesting male company next to me to not wanting any company at all, and from gluing my nose to the window panes and tracking every cloud and mountain to now only wanting aisle seats for ease of mobility. I skipped watching movies, ate a little bit while trying to prop myself on my elbows and continue staying horizontal (a very weird pose you should not try), and spent most of those seven hours sleeping. I was not counting on a similar windfall from Dubai to Kolkata, but hoped that I would have at least one more seat to myself.
And then, I got downgraded. I realized this only when the agent at the B6 gate in DXB exclaimed with feigned enthusiasm, "You must be really tired, so congrats, you have been upgraded to premium economy!" I guess this was the rich step-sibling of the poor economy class, a compromise between a business and an economy. I know enough about the airline world to know that these upgrades are not as random, they are meant to lure people like me (frequent flyers, can possibly afford premium economy but will need a serious nudge to cough up the extra money) with a free sample of comfort and luxury for a few hours, so much so that one would repeatedly question oneself after that, "Do I really need to fly economy again? Don't I deserve better in life?"
For me, being able to fly Emirates as frequently as I do is a luxury. And where flying is concerned, I try to keep myself grounded (pun unintended). For me, a good flying experience is where my flight doesn't get cancelled (happened for Addis Ababa recently), I do not experience xenophobia or feel violated after a brutal pat down (happened many times in the US), I do not miss or lose my bags (happened in Dresden), don't sit next to a sexual harasser (happened on an Indigo flight), don't get an overbooked flight where they elbow me out and emotionally manipulate me into taking the next flight (happened many times while flying United Airlines), get grounded due to bad weather (happened many times in Nebraska/Denver), and don't have to deal with loud, entitled passengers who do not use headphones and ask me to exchange seats with them (happens all the time). My last (and first) business class upgrade was in 2018, and I know that this seven-year wait is not random either.
So what happens in the premium economy? Since this is Emirates Airlines, there was a lot of good food in fine china. The recliner seats were spacious. They gave hot towels, assuming that I was getting tired while doing nothing and needed periodic rejuvenation, and served juice in sleek glasses. Multiple rounds of gourmet chocolates found their way to my tummy. The toilets were not any different. I got priority boarding with people who documented and relayed in real time, through selfies and Facetime, their momentary opulence from all angles and in painstaking detail. The Dubai to Kolkata flight had a lot of blue-collar workers, and it is no coincidence that none of them got upgraded.
And then, there were switches and buttons. Lots of them. One, to pull out my TV's neck closer to me. One, to raise my feet. One, to recline. One, to make my arse more comfortable. One, to find my foot rest. Adding to my first world problems, they offered me a front row seat, which meant that my television needed to be turned off during take off and landing. I experienced complete cognitive overload and wasted precious minutes trying to figure out where to charge my phone and how to use the TV screen. The menu card was a tad longer, the alcohol list was completely wasted on me (pun unintended again), and there was thankfully no "krimi chicken" this time (the economy class had it, I'd checked earlier while waiting in DXB). No plastic, but heavy, high quality china. The headphones were nicer, the pillow was softer, and the space was child-free. No food trolleys unceremoniously hit my knees. They served everyone individually. Even the window panes were automated.
Was it nice? Yes. Was it an upgrade? Did not feel like one. For I could no longer sprawl across multiple seats (there were seat dividers; I was on the right in a 2-4-2 seating) and put my feet up. I was hoping for no company, but the man next to me (who was relaying in real time) used no headphones when speaking and constantly farted away (his arse was as loud as his mouth). I wasted useful time having to put my screen away during take off and landing. And a voice in my head constantly reminded me to stay in my aukaat and not, for once, have any illusion that this is my reality, taking up more space and more resources, eating gourmet chocolates and luxuriating. Neetu Kapoor and Zeenat Aman kept me company for a while, and I was eventually relieved to come home after many months and enjoy a good night's sleep in a proper bed.
I'm flying Emirates again in a few days. And I hope that I get those coveted empty seats next to me, also knowing that such a miracle will not happen again. The Kolkata to Dubai and Dubai to any-major-US-city route is usually very busy, and the crowd is a different kind of monster I am bracing myself for. I will try not to write about that crowd because many will be cross with me. But hey, I finally found the Emirates boarding music on YouTube. I have a long emotional history with this jingle, and this music always makes me teary-eyed for many reasons.
sunshine
No comments:
Post a Comment