There is something with me meeting people who take their fitness a tad too seriously. They sometimes involve me in their excitement and with me not able to say no, I get into all kinds of trouble.
A
professor of mine has invited me to her campus. This evening, she
enthusiastically showed me around. We walked for close to 3 hours, she is
holding a moderately heavy bag of books and me, nothing. Yet, I kept huffing
and puffing, stopping occasionally and pretending that I am admiring the trees,
the birds, and the buildings. I was simply catching my breath. Her shapely
biceps showed with the bag of books that she refused for me to carry. At 72,
she gave me serious fitness goals. There is no asking what I would be doing at
72. I will be dead by 72.
With
all her enthusiasm, she asked me if I'd like to join her and her spouse for a
morning walk tomorrow so that they could spend more time with me. There was a
window of a few milliseconds when I could say no, but why would I? This is
exactly how I get myself into trouble. It's only after I said, "Sure, why
not?" that she told me that they would meet me at 7 am. 7 am on a Sunday?
FML! I haven't had a single day off in February due to early morning flights
and interviews, and this is how I start the first day of March? While saying
goodbye, I said, "So see you at the guest house tomorrow at 7 am?"
"Not
there, we will meet you in front of Sri Maramma temple at 7 am," she said.
Holy
cow! I quickly Googled to see that Sri Maramma temple was at the other end of
the campus, a good 30-minute walk away from the guest house (make it 45 with me
losing my way). I just said yes to a 7 am fitness meeting to learn that I must
start much earlier than that. I am a ravenous breakfast eater; I cannot
function without breakfast. And I don't mean tea or coffee, I mean solid food.
Even if I managed to wake up at 5:30 am to start walking at 6:15 am so that I
could meet them at 7 am and walk around some lake until 7:45 am (which is what
they had planned), I would be dead at 8 am without food. The dining hall (which
again served me vegetarian food during dinner, double dhokha!) doesn't open
until 8 am on Sundays. This is like living a nightmare I did not sign up for
when I left home this morning, coincidentally at 7 am.
Shamelessly, I asked the dining hall person if he can give me
some fruits. I made up a lie that I wake up at 5 am everyday (no, I don't!) and
I cannot starve until 8 am. He was understanding. He went inside the kitchen,
talked to some people, and brought me four sorry-looking bananas I felt
embarrassed to carry back as people started at me. I would be eating these at 6
am tomorrow before starting my shorter walk that would be followed by the longer
walk. Just to make sure I know my way, I walked back from Sri Maramma temple to
the guesthouse after saying goodbye to her. There was a huge demon standing in
the temple with a tiny goddess poking his bulging belly with a trishul. The
goddess was slaying the demon, but it looked like she was poking a hole into his belly
to relieve him of all the gas after he overdosed on beans and radish for dinner
last night. I know all of us at some point have felt like this demon, wishing
for relief! I named her Goddess Anti-flatulence! By the
time I had crossed Swamiye Saranam Ayyappa temple, I was screaming ayyo and
appa in pain. I had not packed walking shoes and my feet were screaming murder!
So, as
you enjoy your Saturday night eating and drinking and making merry, I am going
to bed early. I was hoping to hang out with a few friends, chilling with some
beer and barbecued animal protein. But I have a big fight ahead of me tomorrow.
And only the spirit of Saranam Ayyappa or Sri Maramma and these four bananas
can save me.
sunshine
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