Thursday, January 25, 2018

A forking big problem

A fork that was stolen from the office kitchen recently was the reason for a lot of hullabaloo. The owner of the fork was inconsolable, being very attached to personal things. An impromptu committee was set up to brainstorm the solution. Should the kitchen door be locked at all times henceforth? Should someone immediately remove plates and cutlery after rinsing? Should one put up a sign outside saying access to the kitchen is for office employees only and not for students? Should one mark one’s personal things with a nail polish to deter anyone from stealing? My guess is that a student during evening class was looking for a microwave to heat up food, conveniently took the fork nearby and forgot to return it. In any case, the victim got into an emotional outburst and said,

“This is unforgivable. This is the second time my fork has been stolen!”

“In how much time?” I was so proud that my long training as a researcher was showing results and I was finally asking the right questions in life.

The victim looked up at the ceiling, made some calculations and said, “In 5 years.”

I wonder if this would be considered a statistically significant problem anymore.


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