Wednesday, May 18, 2016

A phone-tastic conversation

Conversations with Ma on Skype, where she tries to figure out what ails me in life that I don’t use acell phone anymore. Note that she uses the word smart phone for cell phone, because anything that isn't a smart phone doesn't count as a phone anymore. I think she is doing deductive reasoning, but could be inductive too.

Ma: It's been 19 months. Still no smart phone?
Me: Nope.

Ma: How are you surviving without a phone?
Me: I have a phone at work. And internet. Skype. Email. Facebook. And an address too, where people can write letters. 

Ma: But how will you Whatsapp?
Me: I don't need to Whatsapp.


Ma: Are you depressed?
Me: No.

Ma: Is it about money?
Me: No.

Ma: I could send you some.
Me: INR will not work here. 

Ma: But all of us in the family have a smart phone.
Me: That's really smart. 

Ma: But how can you not have something when you have used it for so long?
Me: By that logic, I should miss my car more than my smart phone. 

Ma: Don’t you feel lonely?
Me: I watch movies, write, study, travel, and sleep, without the phone constantly dinging, or without me having to compulsively check messages. 

Pause. I know that she is getting really exasperated now.

Ma: I think that you have become really uncool. Like a "khitkhite buri" (grumpy grandma). You are ageing faster than I am. 

And so said the person who doesn't understand how the world revolves without a smart phone. Last heard, she told Baba recently that she understands what it feels like to have your smart phone die on you. It is like losing a best friend or a family member.


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