A write up based on personal reflections.
In the year 1994, my father was transferred from a small town
to a somewhat larger city a few hours away. Work being work, we had all decided
to move with him. I was starting eighth grade, and my small school from the
small town did not offer computer science as a subject then. But the bigger
school that I was joining taught computer science as a compulsory subject from
the sixth grade. Needless to say, my parents were worried.
When I joined the eighth grade, I started with collecting all
the class notes, homework, and assignments worth two years. That was the first
time I had ever typed on a computer. With the number of subjects we study in
school, and the amount of things we learn, catching up on two years’ worth of
learning was going to be a lot for me. I was neither terribly excited, nor
discouraged. I just knew that I had to catch up. There was no other way out.
I put in a lot of hard work. Other than learning everything
taught about Beginner’s All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code (BASIC) in
school, the computer guy working in my father’s office recommended that I
should join coaching classes. So I spent a hot summer going for computer
classes in Link Road at 10 am four days a week during my 1.5 month long summer
vacation. I got more exposure to the subject, more practice with working on a
computer, and learnt about floppy discs and flow charts and binary code
conversions. My performance in the first school exam was bad. I did not fail, but
scored in the low sixties. By my next exam, I had moved up to the late
eighties. Everyone was happy and relieved. At home, everyone saw it as a
difficult situation that was overcome using hard work and interventions, a
disaster prevented in due time. No one really saw it as a gateway to a
wonderful career of possibilities.
I had enjoyed learning everything about computer science that
year. When I moved to the ninth grade, we had to make a choice of taking
computer science, economics, or home science. My father never interfered in
what I should study, or how much I should study. My mother didn’t do it either.
But in this particular case, she decided that I should study home science. She
said that she would be able to help me with the subject, and since the ICSE (10th
boards) would be my first important exam, I should do everything to get maximum
marks, no matter what I decide to study. My ICSE performance would determine
whether or not I was able to get into a good college and study science.
Had this happened now, I would have politely told her, no
thank you, please let me decide things for myself. But 20 years back, I did not
have much perspective in life. I am not sure what I was thinking back then, and
I was not even a lazy student who wanted to score good marks using short cuts.
I now realize that my mother’s motivation to push me to study home science was
well-meant, but solely based on the fear that what if I don’t do well studying
computer science, since I have missed out on two years’ worth of knowledge. My
improving grades in school did not convince her enough. I was not too sure
about what I wanted, and somewhere down the line, her fear might have rubbed
off on me. For much to everyone’s surprise, I opted for home science.
Although we talk about all subjects being equally important,
we usually have a pre-conceived notion of their hierarchical importance. In
India, science is valued more than the humanities, and an engineering degree is
valued more than a pure science degree. Let’s face it. No society is free of
biases or stereotypes. These biases are mostly governed by our future usefulness
to the society when we seek jobs, or even making ourselves more marketable in
the marriage industry. I have a lot of female friends who got a master degree
because that would upgrade their status from getting an engineer husband to getting
an IIT-graduate working in the US. We don’t live in an ideal world. So back in
school, we had a trend too. The hierarchical choices of subjects based on the
brightness of the students were computer science, economics, and home science
respectively. And much to everyone’s surprise, I chose home science. My mother
must have considered offering coconuts to the local deity that day.
Honestly, I did not know what I wanted to study. I liked studying
everything. I was doing well in school. But my mother’s fear somehow became
more real than my own confidence in acing a subject. At age 14, I was being
asked to make a decision which I was told would affect my career for the rest
of my life. And I did not want to make mistakes. So the decision was clear.
Did I enjoy studying home science? I sure did. I learnt about
cleaning, stain removal, first aid, and safety measures. For my practical
classes, I was expected to polish metal, arrange flowers, and bake. My mother
mostly helped me in those projects. I have enough reasons to believe now that
she influenced me so that she could do half my assignments on my behalf, for
her enjoyment. Force and motion and atoms and molecules, she did not understand
so much.
My teachers were surprised about my decision. And so were my
friends. I used to hang out with the “computer science” gang of students, and
when the bell rang for class, they would often forget and wonder why I was not
coming with them to the computer lab. I never had any associations about
studying a “less challenging” subject. I was scoring in the nineties, getting
help from my mother, and was enjoying hanging out with a new set of friends. I
even passed the ICSE with flying colors, scoring in the higher nineties, and easily
got admitted to the science stream after the tenth grade. For ISC (11th
and 12th grades), my new school in Calcutta (we had moved once
again) only had a choice between biology or computer science, physics,
chemistry, and mathematics being compulsory for all science students. It became
even easier to make my choice. Students who wanted to be doctors opted for
biology, and the future engineers chose computer science. I didn’t know what I
wanted to become, but biology was my default choice.
Twenty years ago, my mother had influenced my decision with
the best of her intentions that I score maximum marks in the exams. So the
short-term interests were served. But did it serve me long time? I am afraid not.
For most of the things I learnt in those two years studying home science, I do
not apply in my life anymore. I don’t arrange flowers, I use a washing machine
to remove stains, and I learnt all my cooking after moving to the US. There is
nothing I need for my home that I cannot Google and find out. I know my acids
from my bases for home remedies, and what I don’t know, the internet knows. So
I need nothing that I learnt then.
However, this decision permanently steered me away from a
whole new world of possibilities, and closed the door to studying computer
science. I could have grown up to become a computer scientist. I could have
been working at the Mountain View office of Google. I could be writing codes
and inventing languages for a living. I could be a computer science professor by
now. I could be doing many things right now that I am not solely because I was
never exposed to this field. In the purpose of serving the short-term interests
of better grades, my long-term interests were screwed. Now that did not prevent
me from moving to the US, getting a PhD or working as a researcher. But
something that could be did not become, because I did not know any better. And it
is a universally recognized fact that a degree in computer science increases
your probability of getting a better paid job, having many more opportunities
of employment, rubbing shoulders with some really smart people, and never
having to worry about visa issues. I am not saying that I cannot learn whatever
programming I need to learn now to get my job done. But it is too late for me
to know how my life would be different if I had studied computer science as a subject
in school.
I often tend to reflect on my life experiences to understand
what could be done better. And from this incident, I have learnt that closing
our heart and mind to learning something just because it may not serve our
short term interests is wrong. You don’t take that structural equation modeling
(SEM) class in graduate school because it is tough, and is not a requirement to
graduate. However, will taking that course make you more marketable when you
look for a job in future? Will it give you skills that your peers will not
have? Will it open the doors to exploring newer research possibilities? The aim
of learning something cannot be either good grades or graduating on time. But
that perspective, that wisdom, I have gained at this age.
If life ever had an undo button, I know that right now, we
would be back to 1995, sitting in the living room. I would tell my parents that
I am graduating to the ninth grade soon, and will need to choose between taking
computer science, economics, or home science. My father would look up from
reading the newspaper and tell me that I should do what I think is the best. My
mother would tell me that I should study home science so that she can help me
with it. And I would smile, letting her know that I have decided to study
computer science, and ask her not to be afraid about me failing.
sunshine
