Tuesday, June 07, 2011

The beast that would not let go

It was out of the blue that I was attacked. This time, I was driving. I barely had time to look in the rearview mirror to see that it was a creature with serrations all over its body. I somehow managed to park my car, but this time, the creature was trying to jump off, run away, and hide in the forest. I have never been a brave person, never the ones who would observe fasts for human rights or be vociferous about issues that plague us. I never thought I was bold, courageous, and fearless. But something in me snapped. I didn’t want this creature, half-man, half-beast, with a green skin and serrations all over it to scare me and hide away. Not knowing what to do, I gripped it by the arm.

What happened for the next few minutes was strange, surprising, and scary. I saw the world go by me without noticing me. I saw my mom, and then my sister, talking to others, laughing, and walking by me, without a look. It seemed like I was trapped in a glass shell, wherefrom I could see people, but people could not see me. I tried screaming as hard as I could. But as it always happen with me in fear, no voice would come out. I took a deep breath, and tried screaming again, but no sound this time as well. My grip was getting slacker, the animal was trying to wriggle itself free, but I would not let go. I felt tears stinging my eyes, for I was so helpless that my own family could not see me struggle while I could clearly see them. What made is worse was that no voice would come out, no matter how hard I tried to scream. I was resolved to not let go, so I remained the way I was, unable to scream, but my grip tightly on the repulsive creature. I had not noticed before, but the creature emanated a foul smell from its body, an odor far too repulsive for comfort. With one hand, I tried reaching my phone ad dialing 911. It took me quite some effort, but I eventually managed to do it.

Within no time, the cops were there, freeing the beast off my grip. What I don’t remember is, how did they know who I was or that I needed help, when I had lost my voice? I have no remembrance. However, they freed me, and I slumped on the ground, looking at the breast, now captured by the cops. I held my hand close to my forehead and started crying. I was stunned, exhausted, taken aback, relieved, tired, and had lost my voice, all at the same time. It’s true I did not let go, but I sensed a dreariness, a sense of loss, even after having won a battle. Who this animal was? What was it doing here? Why did it choose to attack me of all people? I had no idea.

I have seen different versions of this dream for years now. Different versions because the situation is different every time, sometimes an animal, sometimes a man. But I always lose my voice while seeking help. And the dream always ends with me crying. And then I wake up, shaken, tired, scared, and relieved at the same time that it was just a dream, and cry some more.



Luna and Scorpio said...

Hi Sunshine! Idk, if my aunt told you about my blog, "If You Give A Chef a Pencil". Your blog is amazing! Thanks so much for linking us to your blog, we seriously appreciate it. :)

Padmanabhan said...

I thought you can only write documentary or dramas. Looks like you can write thrillers or suspense ones too!

ಅಶ್ವಿನಿ/Ashwini said...

Sunshine these recurring dreams are so very scary at times. I get one of them very often where in I am running in the greens which is spread so wide that I see no end, then suddenly I find a mountain whose peak is invisible and I keep climbing it.. next I find a dip in the middle of nowhere and the dream stops there... I have been trying very hard to see what I can find in that pit which looks very deep from the top.. guess I need to wait for some more time to be able to figure it out.

Nice dream though and very nicely written. I liked it thoroughly.

reshmapatra said...

Do you really want this (the dream)to stop coming ?

Luna and Scorpio said...

Great job sunshine!!
It's Scorpio here, from "If You Give A Chef A Pencil".
Love your blog!!
Thanks for posting us as links from yours!

sunshine said...

Luna and Scorpio, I want to congratulate you for your enthusiasm and efforts. Keep writing. There is nothing that makes me happier than seeing people take interest in writing or cultivating an art :)

Padmanabhan, well, I have certainly never explored this shade of my writing.

Ashwini, you should document your dreams. I mostly forget my dreams after a while.

reshmapatra, what do you mean?

reshmapatra said...

Well, you said you have beein seeing this dream. But you didn't say if you liked it, or if you would like to get rid of it.

That's all that I mean.

Kolor said...

I get dreams like this very often. My version is that I am being chased by a beast or some hideous creature. But I have this device that I can use to fly. So I run and run, and then I gently soar away into the sky. But at times, the device does not work and I keep running, trying to fly. But to no avail with the beast gaining behind me.