Thursday, July 30, 2009


I accidentally bumped into my exam schedule and wondered why I didn’t find it all this while. I looked at the date my first exam is going to start, and realized exams were just 10 days away. They were to last for a week, and that meant I was preparing for some 5-7 tests. The tests are pretty intense, and it is during these times that I always regret not having studied harder. I calculated the number of chapters I was supposed to study and realized that I had some 25 chapters to finish in some 10 days. Studying 2.5 chapter everyday would leave no time for revision, so I must speed up. I must target finishing at least 4 chapters a day to begin with, to give me enough acceleration. This means I need to study for 14-15 hours a day. I don’t really remember what was I busy doing throughout the year, but I am clearly not prepared for the exams. I also know that if I start to put in all my waking hours, I can manage to finish my target and do well in the exams. I will not aim for getting the highest this time as I do not have that much time. I will rather ensure that I skim through everything so that I do not end up leaving unanswered stuff. I promise I’ll study earlier and harder the next time.

But something in me doesn’t feel right. I feel the pressure, but not really the killing urge to get back to my books. It’s a bright and sunny day outside. Summer is here, and people are out there enjoying themselves. I don’t really feel like studying. I feel like standing on a railway platform, supposed to catch the train in front of me. The train starts rolling slowly. I know I must hop on to the train. But something in me doesn’t let me lunge after the train. I stand and watch as the train leaves in front of me.

I realize I am not prepared for the exams this time.

I wake up from my dream to realize that it is not quite 5am. I still have an hour’s worth of sleep. I hug my pillow tight and go back to sleep.

I am glad it was just a dream. I am glad when I wake up an hour later, I will get ready for office and not for some exam I am not prepared to take.

I wonder why even after one year of bidding student life adieu, I dream of exams approaching.



Padmanabhan said...

Me said...

i still get them, six years into the job...the horrible dreams of entering an exam hall unprepared and then not knowing a single ans!!

Pavi!!!! said...

i guess its coz u studied so hard when u had to :)

Samey said...

yes I too get such dreams, even after completing studies 5 years back, but when I woke up, I am quite relieved that NO EXAMS are scheduled for me, Good Post, but not a longer one this time. Keep Posting :)

Uma said...

It does happen :)..Sometimes I wake up 6 in the morning on saturdays all worked up and scared about some missed deadline!!!

Best cure as u already did is to sleep in longer :)

Abhishek Khanna said...

exam dreams are not just dreams.. they are nightmares!

Sanchit said...

its been 2 years of having left exams and I too, still dream about giving one... and that too in school... where i studied a different subject den the schedule.. sometimes i just dont reach the school... such dreams are surely a pain.. :(

A Girl from Timbuktu said... know what my nightmares are..that I need to defend two thesis at the same time,and if don't, I wont graduate for the next 60 years !!!