Monday, December 26, 2011

Goodbye Woes


Saying goodbye to old friends was never easy. After having shared an exceptionally great (almost) three years with my camera, I bought an upgraded model this Christmas. For the longest time, I was undecided about whether I should do it or not. You see, I realized the fun of photography after I purchased my first D SLR in 2009. I started going places, and my camera always went with me. Be it road trips, parties, outdoor events, or hikes, my camera always accompanied me. I sometimes used it to get through boring events when I would shy away from conversations in the name of taking pictures. I was so proud of it, and so proud of all the pictures I took using it. But sometimes, knowing more is harmful. As I started to read up more about photography, I realized that my camera can only take me so far. I realized I had (almost) learned everything that I could learn using this camera. It was perhaps the right time to graduate to the next level.

I felt my new camera would make me ecstatic, especially after all the money I spent on it. I am not so sure about it. I like it alright, but I feel guilty as hell. I feel guilty that I decided to part with my old camera. The previous two cameras I had (which were not D SLRs by the way), I gave it away to my father. So I never really felt bad about them, knowing they are still in the family. Now, I no longer require my old D SLR camera. I should sell it, and I tried spreading the word. But something in me felt so sad and guilty when I did that. Perhaps this was attachment, and the result of spending every significant moment of my life for the past three years with my camera. I have lost count of the number of pictures I have taken, of the numerous occasions I have witnessed with my camera. I have often ventured out on my own, for hikes or for long drives, just with my camera. I realized that I could close my eyes and use my camera, I am so used to it by now. Somewhere down the line, a typical human emotion like fondness, usually reserved for animate beings, got transferred into an inanimate object. An inanimate object I learned to call my own, and shared three years of my life with.

I have given myself some time. If by the end of it I still have a sad feeling about it, I will perhaps hold on to my camera. Not a very wise decision perhaps, but a little bit of irrational emotion, especially an emotion like attachment, never hurt anyone.

sunshine

8 comments:

Mr. Banerjee said...

I'm on the process of saying goodbye to my 4 year old ultrazoom and getting a D-SLR next month. The guilt part is definitely there. Especially since my old friend turned out to be a good workhorse in my last Ladakh trip and I imagine I'd miss it dearly in my return there next summer. Lots of good memories with it, besides. These days anyone with a D-SLR claims to be a "photographer". Those ranks, obnoxiously enough, seems to be swelling among my friends and acquaintances every passing week.

Biddu said...

gift it to somebody in the family...like your other cameras...

jestingjousts said...

What's the make/model of your old and new camera? Any particular reason for the upgrade? Just curious.

~ Krishanu

the.orchestra.of.life said...

give yourself some time with the new one .... I am pretty sure the old one will loose that place in your heart !! :)

sunshine said...

Krishanu, could not find your email id. Please send me an email and we can talk more about it.

mypunchingbag said...

I can so understand your feelings :)
I have been thinking of getting a full frame camera for quite some time and just cannot say goodbye to my good ol' D80. Ofcourse, the cost is one major reason of that hesitation, but the fact that my camera has been a part of all my trips and good times makes it so difficult!

mypunchingbag said...

btw, are you on flickr? also, i loved this pic :)

sunshine said...

Not on Flickr. Send me your email id.